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Tier Ranking: The Worst Films of 1982 - 1983
Movie list created by Agent Kermit D. Fonz
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A
For critics it was laudable deviation from series formula not withstanding, Halloween III: Season Of The Witch offers paltry thrills and dubious plotting.
My thoughts? I like that it is different from the other Halloween films, and it is terrifying at times too.
I definitely recommend Halloween Iii.
My thoughts? I like that it is different from the other Halloween films, and it is terrifying at times too.
I definitely recommend Halloween Iii.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Eddie and the Cruisers (1983)
Critics thought it neither rocked or rolled, it did become a cult classic years later.
My thoughts? I love this film, the soundtrack, the premise, and the idea of a mystery surrounding a mysterious rock star.
It has aged pretty well, too.
My thoughts? I love this film, the soundtrack, the premise, and the idea of a mystery surrounding a mysterious rock star.
It has aged pretty well, too.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Annie (1982)
Critics considered it sluggish, stagebound mess of an adaptation, but the kids are cute and the songs are memorable.
My thoughts: It was cute, and adorable enough.
My thoughts: It was cute, and adorable enough.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Krull (1983)
Critics found the film predictable, and formulatic.
My thoughts: I thought that it was enjoyable enough, that I found it a decent enough as a sci fi fantasy film.
My thoughts: I thought that it was enjoyable enough, that I found it a decent enough as a sci fi fantasy film.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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B
Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)
Critics felt that the original was better, and that it didn’t take off at all.
My thoughts? I liked the original better, but it’s not that bad either.
My thoughts? I liked the original better, but it’s not that bad either.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Deal of the Century (1983)
Considered to be one of the worst films, of the year, and a step down from William Friedkin.
My thoughts? That has been way better Chevy Chase films, and a lot more worse films.
My thoughts? That has been way better Chevy Chase films, and a lot more worse films.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Doctor Detroit (1983)
Critics wanted to see another doctor instead, but Rober Ebert liked it?
My thoughts? It was modestly ok, but not it’s also not one of Dan Aykroyd’s best films.
My thoughts? It was modestly ok, but not it’s also not one of Dan Aykroyd’s best films.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Critics felt it was too cheesy, to be anything but a B grade scar fi action film at best, and not a great one.
My thoughts? It’s enjoyably cheesy.
My thoughts? It’s enjoyably cheesy.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Critics felt it was a cheese fest, that was a mixture of Star Wars and Mad Max, but it’s not as great.
My thoughts? It was decent enough, as a sci fi action movie.
My thoughts? It was decent enough, as a sci fi action movie.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
For critics the combination of Conan the Barbarian and Star Wars, was not that great.
My thoughts? It liked it best when was Conan the Barbarian and The Beastmaster.
My thoughts? It liked it best when was Conan the Barbarian and The Beastmaster.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)
For critics felt that Jason may solidify his iconic wardrobe in this entry, but Friday the 13th Part 3 lacks any other distinguishing features, relying on a tired formula of stab and repeat.
And that the three D’s were dreadful, dumb, and diminishing.
My thoughts? It’s not as great the first two, but I still liked it, for the most part.
And it gave a great jumping off point, for Jason.
And that the three D’s were dreadful, dumb, and diminishing.
My thoughts? It’s not as great the first two, but I still liked it, for the most part.
And it gave a great jumping off point, for Jason.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Death Wish 2 (1982)
Critics didn’t care for the film, and for them it was too violent, and brutal and a poor man’s Dirty Harry.
My thoughts? It’s not the best Destb Wish sequel, but it’s one of the better Death Wish sequels.
My thoughts? It’s not the best Destb Wish sequel, but it’s one of the better Death Wish sequels.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
D.C. Cab (1983)
Critics considered it to be a bad film version of Taxi.
My thOught? It isn’t a classic comedy film, but it does have it’s moments.
My thOught? It isn’t a classic comedy film, but it does have it’s moments.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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C
Private School (1983)
For critics, it was a exercise on how much can a film get away with being a teenage sex comedy.
My thoughts? I saw Private School on cable TV once, and I while I love Phoebe Cates as a actress the film didn’t do anything for me.
My thoughts? I saw Private School on cable TV once, and I while I love Phoebe Cates as a actress the film didn’t do anything for me.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Grease 2 (1982)
Critics declared Grease 2 to be undeniably stocked with solid songs and well-choreographed dance sequences, but there's no getting around the fact that it's a blatant retread of its far more entertaining predecessor.
My thoughts? It might be one of the most unnecessary film sequels, of all time.
For now.
Some of the songs however were ok?
My thoughts? It might be one of the most unnecessary film sequels, of all time.
For now.
Some of the songs however were ok?
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Stroker Ace (1983)
Critics felt that Cannonball Run, and Smokey and the Bandit were way better films.
My thoughts? It crashed and burned after the first 20 minutes.
My thoughts? It crashed and burned after the first 20 minutes.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Amityville 3-D (1983)
Critics thought that there are carnival fun houses, more scarier than this movie.
My thoughts? It’s better than the sequel, but the 3-D effects couldn’t save the film.
But at least it has Meg Ryan, in her first role in the film.
My thoughts? It’s better than the sequel, but the 3-D effects couldn’t save the film.
But at least it has Meg Ryan, in her first role in the film.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
The Pirate Movie (1982)
Critics wanted the film to just walk the plane.
My thoughts? It’s pretty much forgettable as musicals go.
With the songs, not being all that great.
My thoughts? It’s pretty much forgettable as musicals go.
With the songs, not being all that great.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Superman III (1983)
Critics felt that it just take off the ground, as a movie.
When not overusing sight gags, slapstick, and Richard Pryor, Superman III resorts to plot points rehashed from the previous Superman flicks.
My thoughts? Superman III feels like a movie, that just doesn’t know it wants to be.
Richard Pryor, also feels out of place in this film.
When not overusing sight gags, slapstick, and Richard Pryor, Superman III resorts to plot points rehashed from the previous Superman flicks.
My thoughts? Superman III feels like a movie, that just doesn’t know it wants to be.
Richard Pryor, also feels out of place in this film.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Staying Alive (1983)
For critics, this sequel to Saturday Night Fever is shockingly embarrassing and unnecessary, trading the original's dramatic depth for a series of uninspired dance sequences.
My thoughts? It was totally unnecessary as a sequel, and lacked any of the charm, that the original film had.
That being said I would have loved to see the musical that’s in this film, Satan’s Alley.
My thoughts? It was totally unnecessary as a sequel, and lacked any of the charm, that the original film had.
That being said I would have loved to see the musical that’s in this film, Satan’s Alley.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983)
One critic put it best, without Burt Reynolds, what was the whole point of the movie, anyways?
My thoughts? I agree,
My thoughts? I agree,
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Jaws 3 (1983)
For many critics, the film was not only a low point for franchise, but it was laughably bad as a 3-D movie.
My thoughts? Even if it was a Doctor Tongue film from SCTV it would still be very bad.
My thoughts? Even if it was a Doctor Tongue film from SCTV it would still be very bad.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Megaforce (1982) (1982)
Critics felt it was too cheesy, to be taken seriously and ludicrous as well.
My thoughts? It was like one really big commercial to sell action figures, and not a very good one at that.
My thoughts? It was like one really big commercial to sell action figures, and not a very good one at that.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Critics suggested that the film, was gleeful in its misogyny and celebratory of bad behavior, Porky's is an intermittently funny farce that will leave audiences feeling in need of a shower.
My thoughts? I can’t say that I really liked the film, a whole lot.
My thoughts? I can’t say that I really liked the film, a whole lot.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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D
You may have never heard of the film, but it’s just as well.
It was a really bad film.
It was a really bad film.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Xtro (1982)
Critics thought it was a pukey, horrible, and ugly movie.
My thoughts? Runs to the nearest vomit bag.
My thoughts? Runs to the nearest vomit bag.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Porky's II: The Next Day (1983)
For critics. It was just as bad as the original. If it was at all humanly possible.
My thoughts? It’s just as the original.
My thoughts? It’s just as the original.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Zapped! (1982)
Critics thought that it was a extremely juvenile film, with an even more juvenile plot.
My thoughts? Zapped! Was barely funny, and relied very heavily on the charms of Scott Baio.
Whatever they may be.
My thoughts? Zapped! Was barely funny, and relied very heavily on the charms of Scott Baio.
Whatever they may be.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Pieces (1982)
Critics felt that it was brutal and nasty, but others appreciated Pieces for exactly that.
My thoughts? I tried to make it past the first half of the film, but couldn’t.
My thoughts? I tried to make it past the first half of the film, but couldn’t.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
The Toy (1982)
Critics thought that it was not only one of the worst films of the year, and It was muddled and unfunny collision of two comedic titans, The Toy is unsuitable for children -- or anyone else seeking entertainment.
My thoughts? Some felt it was very hilarious, I felt it was bracingly unfunny.
And easily one of the worst films, to have Richard Pryor in it.
At least, Superman III was entertaining.
My thoughts? Some felt it was very hilarious, I felt it was bracingly unfunny.
And easily one of the worst films, to have Richard Pryor in it.
At least, Superman III was entertaining.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
Critics liked the previous film (some just barely), they all agreed that the film relied too heavily on shock value, than actual states.
My thoughts? It was a chore to get through, and I liked it better when it was The Exorcist.
My thoughts? It was a chore to get through, and I liked it better when it was The Exorcist.
Agent Kermit D. Fonz's rating:
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Films that I didn’t see.
Tier ranking the worst of 1982 and 1983, that critics didn’t care for, that I saw.
A) It’s not all bad.
B) It’s decent.
C) It’s forgettable.
D) It’s horrible.
A) It’s not all bad.
B) It’s decent.
C) It’s forgettable.
D) It’s horrible.
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