While the holiday season is often associated with warmth, joy, family, friends and reconnecting, this time of year can also be challenging for those who are experiencing grief—including the loss of a loved one.

Photo Credit: Liza Summer

If you are grieving this holiday season, here are 10 ideas for how you can find care and support:

1. Make Space for Your Grief

   Wherever you are in your grieving process, the holidays may bring up unexpected feelings or memories. Honor your emotions during this time and hold space for yourself. The holidays can be stressful even under ideal circumstances! Try not to resist or suppress feelings of grief, sadness or anger as they come to you, but create space to tend to them.

2. Spend Time with Loved Ones

   Reach out to the people in your life to spend quality time together, whether it’s wrapping presents, making dinner or working on a scrapbook. You may find it helpful to spend time with those who also remember and love the person you’ve lost or, conversely, to use this time with family or friends for a change of scenery and topic.

3. Maintain Honored Traditions

   It might feel like you’re leaving essential traditions behind when a loved one passes away. While some practices – like your father carving the turkey at dinner or your mom helping you decorate the yard – may never feel the same again, it could be helpful to reimagine your favorite traditions and incorporate them into your holiday season in a new way

4. Start New Traditions

   Trying to imitate old holiday traditions too closely may be painful. It can be helpful to start new traditions, which can be built on over time with friends and family. These traditions may evolve as the years go by, and you can find the right combination of old and new.

5. Find a Support Group

   You are not alone. While grief can be an isolating experience, there are organized support groups and communities that can be validating and comforting. Whether online or in person, support groups offer affirmation, communal support and mutual understanding. Look online to see what groups are available in your area.

6. Be Honest With Yourself

   Consider your personal boundaries during the holiday season and how they may have changed since the last holiday. Some find it helpful to skip a holiday altogether—give yourself permission to take the year off if that is what you need. For others, staying involved is an essential part of processing grief and moving forward. While only you can decide for sure, involving loved ones in the conversation is an essential part of maintaining your support network. Everyone’s needs are unique, and there is no right or wrong way to balance your grief with the holidays.

7. Start a Journal

   Journals are a great place to express your thoughts and feelings, a cathartic practice, and one that can help you better understand yourself and your experiences over time. Your journal might include identifying specific emotions, tracking what triggers a grief response, or even writing directly to the person who has died. Your grieving process is personal, and you deserve a private place to reflect honestly.

8. Honor Your Loved One

   Actively bringing the person who has died into your holiday celebrations can be helpful: share favorite memories, light a candle, create one of their favorite dishes, or even set a place for them at the table. Remember and incorporate your loved one’s presence into your holiday in a way that feels right.

9. Volunteer

   Getting involved in our local communities and supporting others is a way to make a difference that can also help us feel more connected, purposeful and grateful.  Additionally, volunteering can be a way to honor the values of the person who died—in the holiday season and beyond.

10. Take Time to Ground Yourself

    During this busy time, it’s more important than ever to check in with yourself. Taking a moment to be alone when needed, to feel your feelings, to ensure you have had enough food and water, and to take care of your body may all require extra intentionality. Try to build time into your holiday schedule to acknowledge what’s going on inside your body and mind, and to remind yourself that grief is a part of love. The love you shared is ongoing, even in the presence of loss.

Are you interested in exploring more tools for living with grief and honoring life’s most tender moments? Join Compassion & Choices for an online conversation on December 11 at 3:30 p.m. ET on finding ways to honor those we have lost or are in the process of losing. This webinar features Compassion & Choices’ Chief Strategy Officer Mickey MacIntyre, along with Multicultural Death and Grief Care Academy Founder Joél Simone Maldonado. RSVP today!

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