Communists have kidnapped some of the most important people in the world. Specifically, the "Snatch List" of favorite personalities is: George Jessel, Dorothy Lamour, Colonel Sanders, Butterfly McQueen, Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy, Xavier Cugat and Johnny Weissmuller. They are being held hostage in the Communist bloc country Albania. Naturally, this shocks the free world. As you would expect, the US secret spy group SSA (as CIA) is called into action. Of course, they ask super-computer MOTHA (or Mechanical Oracle That Helps Americans) for help. Check out her slot. The plan is to, "Form a pop musical group and get invited to Albania." They musical group "Phynx" will be trained as spies, get invited to Albania, and free the hostages...
The rock 'n' roll stars selected for spy stardom are the following quartet: bespectacled collegiate protester Dennis Larden, Native American "pansy" Ray Chippeway, handsome young jockey shorted A. Michael Miller, and "Afro-American" TV ad pitchman Lonnie Stevens. During a later orgy, Mr. Chippeway's "pansy" potential is undermined. While the group is being trained, the nasty Communists from Albania kidnap more American leaders. A TV news reporter (Rona Barrett) reveals the new victims as Maureen O'Sullivan, Pat O'Brien and Patty Andrews. Most shocking of all is the kidnapping of Busby Berkeley. Many more disappear, including boxing champion Joe Louis. As was hoped, the Phynx achieves Beatle-like status and is invited to Albania...
In a sexy subplot forwarded by Martha Raye, the Phynx and their spy managers must find pieces of a map. The map is painted on the bodies of sexually attractive young women, seen frequently in their bikinis and underwear. At one point, the Phynx lads are given rose-colored X-Ray glasses which magically show everyone in their underwear. The scenes showing random Romans in their underwear is most memorable. In one of the film's highlights, look for what the glasses reveal about the undergarments worn by Catholic nuns. Chippeway also reveals Native Americans may have been secretly Catholic. The final scenes show hostess Joan Blondell and all the important US celebrities and important people among those snatched by Communists...
If you've watched until the end of "The Phynx", you know the film is a failure. After some inviting animated opening credits and a good transition to live action, it's a slow and unfunny trip to the finish line. Produced by Bob Booker and George Foster, the movie makes a common mistake. "The Phynx" misunderstands and shows little respect for the "counterculture" it attempts to court, assuming it wanted an audience of movie viewers to line up at box offices around the country in 1970. Adding pseudo-rock music, long-hair wigs, mini-skirts and a sitar doesn't make you a hippie. As directed by Lee H. Katzin, some of the spy stuff is clever, though, especially scenes involving Lou Antonio (as Corrigan) before he's given new threads. Dick Clark was not thrilled...
In general, the soundtrack for "The Phynx" is miserable. Astonishingly, those in charge of the music are Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. The songwriter/producers' many classics include "Jailhouse Rock" (Elvis Presley) and "Stand by Me" (Ben E. King). An explanation for the substandard work may be that Leiber-Stoller specialized in the 1950s, when this assignment was for a swinging 1960s soundtrack. Of the four actors playing "The Phynx", Dennis Larden, at least, was an accomplished musician. With his group Every Mother's Son, Mr. Larden released a largely undiscovered slice of sunshiny 1960s psychedelia called "The Proper Four Leaf Clover" / "Put Your Mind at Ease" (1967). Too bad they couldn't get Phil Spector...
There are many recognizable actors, but most young moviegoers would not have known most of the acclaimed Albanian victims. For some odd reason, the "guest starring" cast is bogged down by long-forgotten celebrities. Colonel Sanders would be familiar from his "Kentucky Fried Chicken" ads, but people like Pat O'Brien weren't even on the fringes of 1970 pop culture. You won't see Greta Garbo or John Wayne, here. You do get "Bowery Boys" Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall, appearing together for the last time. And, when Johnny Weissmuller gives Maureen O'Sullivan a final kiss, their words will ring a bell. That's right, they were "Tarzan" and "Jane". A bell would have been nice for their scenic moment. Alas, "The Phynx" is just a curious old relic.
*** The Phynx (5/6/1970) Lee H. Katzin ~ Lou Antonio, Mike Kellin, Dennis Larden, Ray Chippeway
