Please Don't Feed the Children

In a world where youth have become social pariahs due to the spread of a cannibal virus, a small group of adolescents survive out of the sight of adults. It almost feels like a young adult dystopia at first, but that's not the direction the film is going. Gradually, it becomes a slow-burning survival horror film in a single house, but it doesn't dazzle with anything new, interesting or entertaining, and despite it’s trashy title, the film takes itself overly seriously and importantly. Only when you start to think about it for a moment, you realise that the apocalyptic backdrop is completely unnecessary to the plot, the motivations and future plans of the characters are non-existent, the internal logic of the set-up world doesn't really work, and things just happen to somehow propel the script forward. And unfortunately, it's not even entertaining. Technically it’s OK, but a rather annoying, boring and uninteresting affair full of genre clichés. (2024-10-11)

An implausibly constructed thriller/horror movie about a badly constructed fictional world in which a cannibal virus wreaks havoc – and is ignored through 98% of the run time, as most of the plot is about how a group of adolescent (and not very convincingly portrayed) protagonists are held captive by a psychopathic woman who lost her daughter and desperately seeks her replacement. Unfortunately, the simplistic dialogue also gives the impression that it was written by teenagers, and the more you think about the story, the less sense it makes. In technical terms, it’s not badly filmed and a there are a few suspenseful and bloody scenes that will please fans of the genre, but Please Don’t Feed the Children is an otherwise half-baked, repetitive, not very fluid and generally very simple spectacle overrun with clichés. (2024-10-12)

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre by children, for children. The production design and camerawork are great and Michelle Dockery is good as the diabolical mother, but with its formulaic plot and individual details, Please Don’t Feed the Children is pure recyclate with a lot of clichés. With respect to emotional content, the film gets a third star for the intensity of its horror scenes, but thanks only to the roaring music. It doesn’t show any massacres and, in comparison with similar horror movies, it is innocently mild in its brutality. [Sitges FF] (2024-10-11)

A bland debut from Destry Allyn Spielberg that you’ll forget in a few days, as there’s nothing here that leaves a lasting impression. It loosely tries to draw parallels to Hansel and Gretel, but the tension between the captor and captives falls flat. The house’s design makes no sense, and the big escape plan involves a hole in the wall (wow). While it's competently shot, that can’t hide the film’s weakest point—a dull script that offers nothing fresh or interesting. It also fails to logically explain the world it presents, which should leave us feeling uneasy. (2024-10-12)