¡Desaparece!
Aldefina
Marţi, 08/10/2013 - 12:49
Thanks Rosa!
At the beginning I have translated the title as “Moverse”. I wasn’t happy with it, ‘cause it meant just “Move” an not “Move over”. Then I have found “orillarse” as an explanation for this idiom and, as it was in two different dictionaries, I trusted them. Now I have checked in other dictionaries and I have found what was not in these two - this word is used only in some Latin American countries - mainly in Mexico - but not in Spain, so no wonder you objected it ;) .
This idiom means something like: “step aside (and don’t disturb me) or make place for me or abandon, give up”, so your suggestion is correct. On the other hand, as I understand it in this particular song, it’s rather “go away or give up (stop)”. This way I decided to use “Desaparecer”. The other possibilities would be: renunciar, abandonarse, dejar (I don’t want to use this one, ‘cause I have used it too already many times), pararse or rendirse.
I still have some doubts - maybe “rendirse” would fit better here. It’s a question of interpretation of this song. What do you think?
Btw I have changed a lot and I hope it’s fine now.
Por favor ¡echa un vistazo!
Gracias :) .
roster 31
Joi, 24/10/2013 - 18:16
O.K. Aldefina, this translation requires some editing. Vamos a ver:
1. The title - I told you that "Move over" translates "Hazte a un lado"/Muévete/Córrete. If you like "desaparecer", is o.k. but, why to put it in infinitive and not in a personal form, as the original? Even if, in the lyrics is infinitive (after another verb), the whole idea is addressed directly to him: "Desaparece!" (get out of here/leave me alone).
2. First stanza, first verse - I don't like "niño". Nobody says that. You can say "cariño/querido", any of the affectionate words you use later on.
Third verse - Put "¡vamos!" in exclamation marks, otherwise it would sound like "let's go".
Fourt verse - "No quieres... " but I would say, "¿No vas a desaparecer?"
3. Second stanza, first verse - "querido" and "Dios" go together, like saying "Dear God", but since in Spanish "querido Dios" doesn't sound good, maybe you could say, "ay Dios mío", o "Dios de mi vida", "Bendito Dios"
Fourth verse - "que tal vez puedas". No need of "tú"
4. Third stanza - "no ME lo hagas a mí...", and then the change of "niño".
Fourth verse - "querido". No need of "mi".
5. Fourth stanza - If you want to make that verse shorter, you can say "No estoy aún lista..."
Verses three and four belong to the same question: "¿Y qué vas a hacer...?"
6. Fifth stanza - I would say, "Así que toma una decision..."
Fourth verse -" ¡Vamos ya!". The 'ya' inplies "that's enough".
Sixth verse - "o LO que te dije..... ¡déjame ya!/¡Déjame en paz!"
Next - Some repetitions.
7. Ninth stanza, first verse - "Lo que te dije/Como te dije, ¿no quierEs...?"
Second verse - "...TE estás burlando..."
Fourth verso - "mi afecto".
Last verse - "como una maldita mula"
Quite a few things. The ones that are grammatical mistakes, or common expressions, you should change. My suggestions, you can take or leave.
maluca
Luni, 02/06/2014 - 13:50
Hey, sorry to chip in such a long time after you wrote this, but I think the most accurate translation for the title would be:
Córrete más p'allá!
http://dictionary.reverso.net/spanish-english/correte
Saludos :)
Aldefina
Vineri, 06/06/2014 - 17:58
Thank you both Maluca and Rosa for your comments :) .
As you have probably read it, we discussed this problem already with Rosa. I have explained her why I decided for “desaparece” and Rosa has agreed with my choice.
I always trust more native speakers than dictionaries. My first choice (moverse) was also from the dictionary and Rosa disagreed with it.
And in dictionaries you can sometimes find very strange things - e.g. that a “hammer” is “macho” (@Rosa: I guess you know what I mean ;) ).
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