Talk:Balto/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Nathan Obral (talk · contribs) 00:49, 26 September 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: BigChrisKenney (talk · contribs) 06:13, 24 October 2024 (UTC)

Hello, there @Nathan Obral:! I am going to review this article as part of the October 2024 Backlog Drive.

Let's get this article to GA status!

Awesome and thank you in advance! Will denote my responses with 🦝 and will update throughout the day... Nathan Obral • he/him • t • c • 16:01, 24 October 2024 (UTC)

Lead Section

Good, informative and to the point.

Life

Early years

“Balto's birth date is commonly recognized as 1919,…”

• I changed date to year as there is not exact date here or even recorded as mentioned in the same paragraph.

🦝 Sounds good, and yes!

The serum run

“After considering all the alternatives, officials decided to move the treatment via multiple dog sled teams…”

• The phrase, ‘move the treatment,’ could be improved. When I first read it I imagined a doctor on the sled treating a patient or a surgeon in an OR about to perform an operation needing to move locations. Perhaps a better way to convey this information would be; ‘transport the medicine,’ ‘ferry the vials,’ ‘have the serum be delivered by,’ or something similar.

🦝 I opted for "have the serum be ferried via" but might tweak it further.

“Kaasen and his team arrived in Port Safety ahead of schedule, searching in vain for the last team.[19]” *This sentence needs to be rewritten. First, the source mentions that they arrived in ‘Point Saftey’ I’m not sure if that is a land locked place or an actual port, and I haven’t been able to find a location called ‘Point Safety,’ but it would be better to use what the source has.

🦝 I'm wondering if that source misidentified the town or confused it with Port Safety, which was a small settlement on an inlet bordered by Safety Sound to the north and Norton Sound to the south. (Coordinates for reference: 64°27′6.001″N 164°49′32.002″W) Moreover, the AP dispatch in the Baltimore Sun only references "Safety", not Point or Port. Unfortunately I'm also in a bit of a holding pattern due to the IA issues, otherwise I'd check the Ungermann book right away. Let me get back to you on this...

🦝Update: The Ungermann book is in Google Books and a simple search query shows three references to "Pt. Safety". I have corrected the town name accordingly.

• ”…searching in vain for the last team.” I had to go to the source to understand what you meant here. “…but was unable to locate the last team of the run’, or something of the like, would be more clear.

🦝 Done.

“Ed Rohn, leader of this final team,[36] was under the impression Kaasen had been halted in nearby Solomon due to the weather and was asleep.[7][11]”

• I think multiple edits have made this sentence become ambiguous due to it’s structure. Who is asleep? Rohn or Kaasen? I’ve looked at the source listed and it appears that Rohn was asleep because he thought that Kaasen had been stopped at Solomon.

• I would rewrite it to read something like this: “Ed Rohn, the leader of the final team, was asleep at the time due to the impression that Kaasen had been halted in nearby Solomon because of the poor weather conditions,” or something similar.

🦝 Done.

🦝 Update: I have found the Nome Nugget from February 7, 1925, that states Kaasen did not wake Rohn: ...the roadhouse was dark, and figuring it would take time for Rohn to bestir himself and prepare his outfit, and also that it would risk more dogs on account of the cold... and added that source in addition to further copy-editing.

“Prior to arriving, Seppala's lead dog Togo and a teammate broke from their harnesses to chase reindeer but were later reunited with him.”

• Can you explain why this sentence is needed?

🦝 I removed it and put it in my sandbox, it is more appropriate for the Togo article.

I have a question. Was Balto from Nome (the info box says so), is that why Kaasen told him to go home? If that is correct, I believe that should be added to the article as it is not directly mentioned. I do not know much about the serum run, so my eyes and mind are fresh on this. So if I am confused, then other readers will likely be too. Is there any information on how Kaasen got to Bluff? If so, shouldn’t that be added?

🦝 Correct, he was born and lived in Nome, as was Kaasen. Both Kaasen and the dogs were likely transported from Nome to Bluff, but this also requires me to read the Ungermann and Salisbury/Salisbury books again for confirmation. I will look to see if they are available in Google Books or elsewhere as soon as practicable.

Post-race fame: movies, statues, vaudeville and sale to a sideshow

“...in particular Seppala and Togo.[10] “

• Why them in particular? Mentioning why would be better than leaving it up to speculation.

🦝 I removed this part and rephrased it as eclipsing the efforts of the 18 other mushers and 150 sled dogs who participated.

“While claiming to be "amazed and vastly amused" at Balto and Kaasen's celebrity statuses, they came to Seppala's displeasure,…”

• The quote should be cited. Unfortunately Internet Archive is not available at the moment so I was not able to verify it - considering what is happening with the website, you might want to find a new source. Also, this sentence should be reworded as it is not clear. Something like this should suffice: ”While Balto and Kaasen claimed to be “amazed and vastly amused” at their new found celebrity statuses, Seppala’s displeasure….”

🦝 For clarity, I reworded it to Seppala had been "amazed and vastly amused" at Balto and Kaasen's celebrity statuses,[64] but was displeased as it overlooked his lead dog Togo, who went through the run's longest and most dangerous part. Seppala's memoir is on Google Books, and the quote is matched, but it is unfortunately not highlighted in the preview. Still trying to dig around and hoping the IA sign-in can be rectified in time...

"Bring Balto to Cleavand”

Why is this sub-header in quotations? They should be removed if there is not a proper reason.

🦝 It was one of the taglines for the fundraising campaign but admittedly not immediately recognizable; I changed it for now to "Cleveland fundraising effort and purchase".

Added a not to “sourdough’ as it wasn’t immediately apparent even after clicking on the link.

🦝 Thank you, I appreciate that!

I have made edits throughout, some were heavy, most light. You should review them when you have time. Lots of specific things here! A lot of work has been done on this article already. I will continue the review tomorrow to break up the review a bit and allow time to look at these suggestions. BigChrisKenney (talk) 08:40, 24 October 2024 (UTC)

Part 2

Later years

Good.

Death, mounting and display

Good.

Return visits to Alaska

Good.

Legacy

Controversy, rivalries and reevaluation

This section says, “Decorated mushers and others in the surrounding area—including Rohn, based on conversations the two men had before leaving Nome—believed that Kaasen's decision to not wake Rohn at Port Safety was motivated by a desire to grab the glory for himself.”

• This sentence sounds like Kaasen decided not to wake Rohn. In the serum run section, it says that Kaasen was unable to find the last team. That source [19] writes, “Kaasen looked around for his relief team. But he searched in vain.” Was Kaasen able to find Rohn and decided not to wake him, or was he unable to locate him? I wasn’t able to get a hold of source [148] to find out what that one has.

🦝 Source [148] is unfortunately offline and incredibly difficult to find. This was originally inserted in March 2021 and I opted to retain it, albeit rephrased. The aforementioned Nome Nugget story does support the narrative that Kaasen found Rohn and did not wake him, and as the Serum Run section has been updated to reflect that, there should be consistency now.

• Yes, I agree that it is sufficient and a good find! — Preceding unsigned comment added by BigChrisKenney (talk • contribs) 23:59, 27 October 2024 (UTC)

Balto vs. Togo

Good.

Cultural depictions

All good.

Genome sequencing

Good.

Notes

Good.

References

Due to the amount of references (167), I will check every 5th source.

I don’t have a problem with the sources, but I am slightly concerned about the amount of references to articles of The Plain Dealer, but the paper seems to be credible.

🦝 The Plain Dealer has been Cleveland's sole daily newspaper since 1982 and dates back to 1842. As of right now, the other two newspapers that were in the city during Balto's life, the Press and the News, do not have online archives as of yet. Because of the lack of the other two dailies, along with the fundraising campaign and that Balto spent most of his life in the city, it will have a slightly outsized role citation-wise.

Images

The images are appropriate and captions are good. I've added another.

🦝 Thanks! I added some alt text for the additional picture. :)

I will come back in a couple of days to see the work done on the updated article, and hopefully give a final assessment!

BigChrisKenney (talk) 01:31, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

Final Assessment

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.

   a (references):
   b (citations to reliable sources):
   c (OR):
   d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects):
   b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

@Nathan Obral:Very good work on the article! I believe any issues that have been raised have been addressed and rectified. Congratulations on another GA! BigChrisKenney (talk) 00:12, 28 October 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.