About: Have Some Madeira M'Dear

"Have Some Madeira M'Dear", also titled "Madeira, M'Dear?", is a darkly comic song by Flanders and Swann. The lyrics tell of an elderly rake who "slyly inveigles" an attractive girl of 17 to his flat to view his collection of (unperforated) stamps, where he offers her a glass of Madeira, a fortified Portuguese wine. The girl enthusiastically drains her glass, becoming slightly drunk in the process. Sensing victory, he offers her another glass, which she accepts. However, before raising it to her lips, she recalls her dying mother's warning to avoid red wine. With a cry, the girl drops the glass and flees the apartment, the old roué's pleas for her to remain echoing in her ears. The following morning, however, she wakes in bed with a hangover and a beard tickling her ear.